Your bridal party, whether siblings, family or close friends stand by your side through the entire wedding planning journey, which we all know this means the up’s and the down’s, because afterall it is a rollercoaster of a journey. From bachelor and bachelorette parties, to dress shopping and last minute guest lists they are there for you simply because they care about you. You chose this group of people for this special honor because they will take it seriously and will be your greatest cheerleaders. With this being said, it is important to remember to keep everything in perspective. A true friend will keep things like costs and travel in mind so that their favorite people are happy and don’t feel taken advantage of. 

Be sure to keep in mind these simple steps throughout the planning process to ensure that your bridal party has an enjoyable experience and that your friendship lasts!

1. EXPRESS YOUR EXPECTATIONS FROM THE START

Be clear from the very start what you expect from your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Expectations really differ from wedding to wedding. Sometimes bridal party members are just expected to show up and support you and your partner on your big day.  Other couples may want their bridal party to be there throughout the entire planning process and assist with details such as creating seating charts, designing a website, and filling welcome totes. By being clear up front no one will find themself frustrated not having understood the commitment being part of your bridal party. For some, this might be their first time being part of a bridal party, you can’t expect them to know all of their duties or read your mind. Keeping everyone (including family) up to date when it comes to parties, showers, etc. is very important to avoid any conflicts.

2. THEY HAVE A PERSONAL LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR WEDDING

As important as your wedding is, it isn't everyone’s one and only priority. People approach things differently, certain bridal party members may take on more duties than others due to their personal responsibilities. No one should feel pressured to step up if others aren’t pulling their weight. Respect your bridal parties schedules, location and finances when you are planning things. If some of your bridesmaids can’t help with your bridal shower, then reach out to other friends or family who might want to help. You are loved and more people than you think are willing and wanting to pitch in to help make your wedding planning process easier and more enjoyable, so don’t hesitate to take advantage of their help as needed!

3. EVERYONE’S FINANCIAL SITUATION IS DIFFERENT

Money is a hard topic to discuss no matter the context. Your bridal party spends a significant amount from their dresses and suits, to travel expenses, parties, hair and makeup, gifts, and more. . Did you know the average cost to be a bridesmaid is $1200 according to Vogue? That's no small number… It is important to keep this in mind and make sure each of your bridesmaids and groomsmen are comfortable sharing their budget needs with you. If you live somewhere like Alaska, try especially hard to keep travel to a minimum and your expectations in check. Most people won’t be able to afford traveling from out of state for bach parties, bridal showers AND your wedding. Consider having a small bridal shower the week of your wedding when everyone will be in town or a low-key get together to accommodate other financial situations. Afterall, quality time together with your favorite people should be your main goal.

4. IT PAYS TO BE ORGANIZED

People in your bridal party expect to have tasks given to them, but it is important to give them a reasonable amount of time and notice throughout the planning process to complete their tasks. Don’t leave things for last minute expecting them to have to drop their personal life responsibilities for you. Make a list of all of the tasks you need help with, then divvy it up with those willing to take projects on and set a timeline. This way communication is clear and you have a plan in place in order to accomplish everything for the big day!

5. HELP THEM GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER

Obviously everyone in your bridal party is close to you, however they most likely don't know each other very well. A great way to break the ice is to host a bridal party lunch or  game night so that everyone can meet each other early in the wedding process. If people live out of state, consider hosting a virtual wine night. Creating a group chat is also helpful to be sure that everyone is on the same page and no one is left out. As the bride and groom, it is your responsibility to encourage everyone to get to know each other, spend time together and bond. This is a great opportunity for people to make new friendships!

6. BE FLEXIBLE WITH ATTIRE

People have different body types and personalities, and it can be frustrating trying to find one style of dress that is perfect for everyone. I am a big advocate for asking your ladies what THEY want to wear. Create a style board of what you envision your bridesmaids wearing including the color shade, style (s) and brand and offer them a variety of dresses to try and choose from. Once they take a look at their options, ask them to send you several dresses they love so that you can choose. If you are very flexible, let them know they can just pick their favorite. A few places I recommend looking for bridesmaid attire are: Lulus, Baltic Born, BHLDN, Birdy Grey, and Azazie.

7. REMEMBER EVERYTHING WON’T ALWAYS BE ABOUT THE WEDDING

It’s easy to forget that your wedding will come and go, and your friends have big events happening in their lives as well throughout the wedding planning process that are equally as important. Your friendship should last for the long haul. Make a special effort to keep current on your friends' lives and discuss things that are completely unrelated to your wedding. Grab coffee and talk about their job, help them with a project, celebrate their birthday, make THEM  feel special and your friends will appreciate being part of your bridal party even more! They are your friends, so don’t forget to treat them just as you would have before you asked them to be part of your squad.

8.  BE CHILL

You are going to get stressed throughout different points in the planning process, it's just bound to happen (sigh…). You might find yourself worried about dinner being ready on time, or your table runner being the wrong shade, or rain instead of blue sky (we know this isn't uncommon in Alaska). The best thing you can do is try and keep everything in perspective. You are having this wedding to marry your person. The last thing you need to do is get upset at your bridesmaids/groomsmen and take out your emotions on them. They are there to remind you not to take anything too hard and to try and enjoy the process. Are different colors of napkins really going to make a difference in your marriage?

9. THANK THEM

Your bridal party is over the moon for you to get married, to support you and to stand by your side. They are giving you their time, energy, money and love for YOUR big day. After all their hard work, it is only right you give your favorite people feel appreciated. Consider including them on your wedding website with a blurb about your friendship, and giving them a meaningful gift on the big day. You don't need to spend a fortune to show them how grateful you are, a pair of monogrammed pj’s, or robes to wear pre wedding, or some jewelry to wear during the day, paired with a thoughtful card is all they need to feel special and valued. 

HAVE FUN!

Most importantly, just have fun with your squad! Enjoy your day with your bridesmaids and groomsmen and celebrate the entire journey that you have shared together.